Annotations for This Is How I Disappear

Lyric: (Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Annotation:
Whoa is an interjection (exclamatory) typically used to express surprise, alarm, or interest; also can be used as a command for someone to stop. In this instance, it seems to use the former of the two.

Lyric: And now
Annotation:
And: Used as a conjunction or noun to express a connection between two words or sentences. It modifies “now” in this instance. Now: Adverb, conjunction, or adjective used either for something happening currently; to draw attention to a certain narrative in conversation; or used as a question, request, or instruction.

Lyric: Go
Annotation:
A verb, noun, or adjective meaning either to move from one to another place; to leave/depart; or in this case, signifying the beginning of something.

Lyric: (Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Annotation:
WHHHEEEYYYHHOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHOOOOO-OOOOHHH-OOUUHH!!!!

Lyric: To un-explain the unforgivable
Annotation:
The patient is not trying to explain all the bad things he’s done in his life, as he knows they are unforgivable. This line could also be referencing the line “The anthem won’t explain it” from wttbp.

Lyric: And without you is how I disappear
 And without you is how I disappear
Annotation:
Due to the sudden trauma of their illness, throughout the story the patient is experiencing mood swings, taking them from being fearful of death and resentful of their life, to maniacal happiness and longing for death. The patient could have taken a turn and wishes to become isolated so when he dies there is no one to remember him and he will be fully dead. “You wanna see how far down I can sink? Let me go” The first part may be a jab meant to instigate an argument as the patient wishes to make his lover angry and ultimately push her away so she will forget him. A common sign amongst those will ideations of death or suicidal intent will be to push those around them away. “And without you is how I disappear” changes from a cry for help, to the him stating the end goal of his plans.

Lyric: I’m just a ghost, so I can’t hurt you anymore
 So I can’t hurt you anymore
Annotation:
I think this line shows that after what he has done in the war, as in “Mama”, (but there’s shit that i’ve done with this fuck of a gun), he feels like he is a danger to society.

Lyric: Fuck
Annotation:
In the studio recording, Gerard Way screams out “fck”, however in the Live in Mexico City version, he doesn’t swear. This is strange because the studio version (the one that swears) is not marked as explicit on Spotify, but the Mexico City version is marked as explicit, even though there is no swearing in this version.

Lyric: You wanna see how far down
 I can sink?
Annotation:
With this line, the Patient reflects on both his life and what comes after death. He reflects on how low he has sunk, both due to his bad choices and actions in life, and also the more symbolic sense of sinking down into Hell after he passes. Throughout  The Black Parade, it is made clear that the Patient is a relatively unpleasant character. He is seen to have been rude and anti-social in his life, which is explored most notably on “ House Of Wolves,” and “ Dead”: Have you heard the news that you’re dead? No one ever had much nice to say I think they never liked you anyway Throughout the album, the Patient gradually expresses regret that he acted the way he did whilst he was alive, which is paired with the added complexity of religious guilt. He becomes  plagued with fears about going to Hell because he was a bad person. Well, I think I’m gonna burn in Hell Everybody burn the house right down

Lyric: That without you is how I disappear
 And live my life alone, forever now
 And without you is how I disappear
 And live my life alone, forever now
Annotation:
I think the patient has just got the word that he will be dead in two weeks (as said in Dead!) Another line in Dead! was, “No one ever had much nice to say I think they never liked you anyway” so it means no one loved or liked him. so when he dies no one will remember him. And/Or there is a girl that he is trying to reach out to and save his existence which leads up to I Don’t Love You saying that he doesn’t need her anymore.

Lyric: I’m really not so with you anymore
Annotation:
The patient is so sick he feels that he’s fading as an individual especially en tango with his partner and he’s less and less “here” in the world of the living every day. Consequentially less and less “there” with his lover. He’s physically present, but that’s about it.

Lyric: Can you hear me cry out to you?
 Words I thought I’d choke on
Annotation:
The protagonist is asking if someone can hear him cry out for something. Whatever it is, is something very hard for them to say so it felt like those words would cause them to suffocate.

Lyric: Drain all the blood and give the kids a show
Annotation:
Upon death, most morticians  drain the blood of the deceased and replace it with a formaldehyde-based solution to prevent rapid decay. In the context of the Patient’s story, he could be anticipating what will happen to him when he dies. Draining blood is also something done by vampires. My Chemical Romance frequently uses vampire imagery, such as in the song “ Vampires Will Never Hurt You,” in which becoming a vampire is used as a metaphor for conformity. Gerard Way as a vampire at a My Chemical Romance show on October 15, 2022 Giving the kids a show could refer to excessive mourning, or the Patient coming back from the dead – possibly as a vampire – to scare the people who wronged him while he was alive. It also ties in to the Harry Houdini inspiration behind the song, as Harry Houdini was an escape artist who performed for people.

Lyric: Who walks among the famous living dead
 Drowns all the boys and girls inside your bed
Annotation:
Possible reference to notorious  A Nightmare on Elm Street antagonist, Freddy Krueger – a rather famous member of the “living dead” – who memorably sucks a victim into his own bed in the first  A Nightmare on Elm Street film (sort of like being drowned in your bed), and also literally drowns a victim in their waterbed in  A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, the fourth film in the series.

Lyric: And without you is how I disappear
 And live my life alone, forever now
 And without you is how I disappear
 And live my life alone, forever now
Annotation:
I think the patient has just got the word that he will be dead in two weeks. And in DEAD it No one ever had much nice to say I think they never liked you anyway" so it means no one loved or liked him. so when he dies no one will remember him. And/Or their is a girl that he is trying to reach out to and save his existence which leads up to I Don’t Love You saying that he doesn’t need her anymore.

Lyric: So you can
 Well, now, so you can
 I’m so far away from you
 Well, now, so you can
Annotation:
The repeated phrase “so now you can” refers to the earlier line in the breakdown: You wanna see how far down / I can sink? This could be interpreted as the Patient sinking down into Hell, asking his lover to watch how far down he goes, pulled down by the weight of his sins. In addition, it may refer to the phrase “ to sink down to someone else’s level,” meaning that the Patient has grown tired of being mistreated and is now ready to seek revenge by treating others as badly, or worse, than how he was treated by them. The phrase “I’m so far away from you” could also have several meanings. The first is that the Patient is dead, meaning that he and the person that he is addressing here – presumably a lover – are separated by his death and unable to see or talk to each other again. He is far away from her, in hell, whilst she is still alive. This could also be interpreted as the lover being the dead one and the Patient longing for her. The idea of lovers being separated by death is something that Way explored with the story of the Demolition Lovers on the band’s previous album,  Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. This distance between the Patient and the person that he is addressing can also be interpreted as his lover having completely blocked him out of her life, or vice versa. Since one of them is ignoring and has tried to forget about the other, he feels very far away from her.

Lyric: And if you could talk to me, tell me if it’s so
 That all the good girls go to Heaven
 Well, Heaven knows
Annotation:
These four lines replicate a conversation  Bess Houdini may have had in séances she performed while trying to contact her dead husband. Although she performed these​ séances regularly, neither Bess nor  Harry entirely believed in their legitimacy​ which leads to the line “and if you  could talk to me”. In an  interview on the song, Gerard Way mentioned his opinion on Bess Houdini’s séances, saying that I was really inspired by that. He was this amazing escape artist, but he couldn’t escape death.

Lyric: There’s things that I have done
 You never should ever know
Annotation:
The Patient has been to war and done horrible things there. This is also explained in other songs on  The Black Parade. In one verse of  “Mama”, he sings “But there’s shit that I’ve done with this fuck of a gun”. In the pre-chorus of  “House of Wolves”, he sings “Well, I think I’m gonna burn in Hell”. Overall, the mistakes that the Patient has made and his feelings concerning them are one of the main themes of the album.

Lyric: [Intro]
Annotation:
A short guitar intro with a length of about half a minute played by  Ray Toro and  Frank Iero. It was written in the parking lot and dressing room of a venue in San Francisco after a concert in 2004.

Lyric: A séance down below
Annotation:
A séance is a meeting in which people attempt to make contact with the dead. “Down below” is most likely referring to Hell.  In his comic series,  The Umbrella Academy, Gerard Way named a character who has the ability to contact the dead The Séance.

